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gold trinket dangling from black leather cord
simple tiny declaration of possession
she was gone less than a month later
and friends who'd been ignored
started to have value again
thought there was little value on your life at the time
tell me...who was possessed?

you don't want to be a face i turn away from
i don't want to be a hand you don't want to hold
a number you don't want to call
a name you don't want to say
a reminder of feelings
that you don't want to feel

i've called for closure before
i've wanted an ending
i've said
that it was all far too much
and the changes that have been made
are far too small to make a difference

i've been in love with you
i assure myself that i'm not any longer
so why do my thoughts remain with you?
why do these little insensitivities hurt so much?
why do i still need to be around you?

the other night
it felt as if you loved me more than you could express
when you held me so close
it felt as if you were falling for me
in the way you said, "i love you"
which one of us is holding on so tightly?


© 1996 Joanna Vaught